The only disability in life is a bad attitude

I wish for a world that views disability, mental, or physical, not as a hinderance but as unique attributes that can be seen as powerful assets if given the right opportunities.


All families are unique in their own way, as is every person on this earth. No two people are the same and no two disabilities are either. In our family we have  made the choice for our children that a disability will not be an excuse. We have been blessed with five beautiful, unique children and they all come with their own challenges, every child does. Our first two children were delayed in speech, turns out they both have a congenital hearing loss and require hearing aids. Growing up with a hearing loss myself this was no big deal to me. With the proper tools they would have a very normal life. Then Gavin came along five weeks early, with difficulty breathing. He required a stay in our neonatal intensive care unit and was sent home after a couple weeks. We soon settled into life with three. Unfortunately around six months we could tell Gavin was behind where his siblings had been at that age, we keep being reassured by our doctor that premature babies often take a little time to catch up and not to worry.

Trip to the zoo 2019

 As I worried about him I reflected on my dreams of family, I had always known my purpose in life was to be a mom and raise a big family, I would dream about my children, what they would look like and what their lives would be like. I don't think anyone with aspirations of parenthood says to themselves, "I would like a child with special needs". Special needs was not part of my dreams or my plans for life. As time went on though and Gavin continued to miss the milestones he was referred to physio therapy at our children's hospital. After months of unanswered questions and talking to everyone I could about what was going on with him, as well as a ton of Internet research someone said to me "has anyone mentioned Cerebral Palsy to you". At the time I knew nothing about it. I of course went home and read everything I could find online and Gavin ticked off every box for symptoms. I finally felt like we had our answers, eventually with perseverance a referral was made to have him assessed at the developmental clinic before he would be sent to neurology for further screening.

This was a very dark time for me. It could have had a lot to do with being pregnant again, we actually received his diagnoses of Cerebral Palsy two weeks after his sister was born. I say it was a dark time for me because it pushed me into some mild depression. As I mentioned above, no where in my plans, or prayers to god did I ask for a child with a disability. I felt burdened, for my other children as well as myself. I felt like I was being punished, I felt like I didn't know how to take care of this child and no one could tell us what his quality of life would be. We had no idea if he would ever be able to walk or talk. We had to prepare ourselves for the worst and hope for the best. I went through a grieving process, I had to morn the loss of the son I had dreamed of, the son I saw playing football with his brother in the back yard, the son I saw getting married someday and having his own children. I know I didn't loose my child, he didn't die, but the child that I dreamed of while he grew inside me did. He would never have the life we thought he would and that was a loss.

God works in mysterious ways they say and I believe this to be true. I also believe that god doesn't give you more than you can handle. Some times it just takes a minute to figure out how. Gavin's younger sister Norah was a blessing for him. She was a very active baby and she was ruthless. When the two of them would be on the floor together and he had something she wanted, she would take it and move away from him. This was the beginning of the light at the end of my depression, because of her lack of ability to share, Gavin had to learn how to survive and thrive with her as a playmate. I credit Norah with giving Gavin the motivation to learn how to first roll over, and then crawl. Without her, I'm not sure he ever would have. Thanks to Norah giving him that push I was finally able to see that just because I lost the son i dreamed of, it didn't mean that Gavin couldn't have all the things I wanted for him. It just might look a little different or take some extra work to archive.

Playing soccer 2018

Norah was around eighteen months when we realized she was autistic, and two years old when we got the diagnoses. This time it didn't hit me so hard, probably because I had already gone through the process with Gavin and knew that just because she wasn't a "normal" child that didn't mean she couldn't have a great life. Well autism is a whole other ball of wax. It can be the most beautiful thing to be a part of and it can also be the most horrible thing to live with. Not for her, she is mostly happy. She has definitely kept life interesting with all the shenanigans she has gotten up to. Most recently she taught us that deodorant when rubbed on windows leaves them with a nice frosted look and gives the room a pleasant smell. She is an amazingly bright child who lights up my life though and I am so thankful that I was chosen to be her mom.

Accessible swing I fought to have built at
his school. 

So disabilities by definition limit ones abilities. I cant argue that it's not true, it is. There are some things Gavin and Norah might never be able to do. But there is so many things they can do with the proper adaptations. Norah can pretty much do anything, all you have to be concerned with is what her behaviour will be like in those circumstances. Gavin on the other hand has spastic quadriplegic Cerberal Palsy, meaning all four limbs of his body are affected. Not all equally though. Gavin is in a wheel chair, he is predominately left handed and can feed himself. He is able to walk short distances with the use of a gait trainer,, and he has an amazing six pack and arms which he has been able to achieve by using his upper body to drag himself anywhere he wants to go. Believe me when he is determined, he can do anything. His determination to do everything has really been a blessing for all of us. Gavin is like any other six year old boy, he loves super heroes (batman is his favourite) he loves to play cars with his brother and build Lego. He loves to be outside and be active. The resources available today to children with disabilities is unbelievable. Gavin is so lucky, all he has to do is tell us he wants to do something and we can find a way to make it happen.

To date Gavin has been able to go skating, bike riding, play soccer, go swimming (his favourite), go bowling, and ride a horse. I'm sure I'm missing things but these are the big ones he likes to tell people about.

Soccer 2018

Skating new years day 2019

My only wish though is that people would look past his chair, that they could see Gavin for who he is. He is so much more than his condition, it's only one part of him. Because of the advancements in equipment, Gavin can be anyone and do anything he wants. I wish people could see that and not hold him back, or pass judgment on us for pushing him to be independent. He will always need help with some aspects of daily life, that's a given, but we will not let his condition be an excuse for not trying. He has to be responsible for himself and know that he can be independent and that although we will always be here to help him that he is capable of so much on his own.

I didn't plan for any of this, but I am so thankful to know these two people and so proud to say they are mine.

The only disability in life is a bad attitude.

Always smiling